If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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