he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
