OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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