I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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