Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
