I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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