I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
