one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
