Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
