Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
