I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
