She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
