I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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