Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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