Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
