I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
