is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
