why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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