Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
