You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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