I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Welp...herpes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
