Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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