Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I forget how to act sober
Randomize