Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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