his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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