Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize