I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize