College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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