Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
