And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
