I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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