If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Barsexuality is the new black.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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