the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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