Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
