why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
