I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
