it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
