did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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