he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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