Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Why are your pants in the freezer?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
