tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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