She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
