oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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