Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
