you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
