Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
