What a fucking waste of an outfit
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
