he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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