how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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