You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
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