Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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