i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
