I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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