Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize