Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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