Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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