no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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