Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
