At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
