i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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