508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
