I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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